music issue to lenny kravitz: you suck

friends. yesterday i was timidly extolling the virtues of being a poseur in the pantheon of over-rated rock gods. today, i am pointing the p-word to rock's least awesome, most awesomely bad ass kissing industry fool, lenny kravitz. there's nothing more simple, clear or perfect than the essence of cashing in,' he says. 'Once I'd done that, the track just came.' uhh, yeah. just.

A Groundbreaking Global Music Project Featuring a New Interpretation of the Brand by Lenny Kravitz

ABSOLUT is proud to announce the launch of ABSOLUT KRAVITZ - a new music project which sees Lenny Kravitz creating an exclusive new track based on his interpretation of the ABSOLUT brand.

'We are thrilled to have Lenny Kravitz with us on our creative journey and in this, our first high-profile music project' says Michael Persson, Global Brand Director for ABSOLUT VODKA. 'Not only is he supremely talented; his output, inspired by so many genres and eras of music, defies categorization, making him truly individual - a quality which means he is perfectly at home with the creativity of ABSOLUT.'

One of the pre-eminent rock musicians of our time, Lenny Kravitz is an icon whose bold, channeling sound has transcended genre, style, race and class. Over a remarkable 16-year career, Kravitz has managed to do it all with a contemporary urgency rivaled by none. All of his albums have been certified either platinum or multi-platinum. He has also been showered with accolades including MTV Video Music Awards, American Music Awards and four consecutive GRAMMY Awards for Best Male Rock Vocal Performance. Kravitz's appeal has also been recognized by his peers; his collaborative efforts are as varied as his own influences, having worked with Madonna, Slash, Jay-Z, N.E.R.D., P. Diddy and Alicia Keys.

Famous for its creative collaborations with leading world-famous artists and designers, this collaboration marks the first time ABSOLUT has worked with such a well-known figure from the world of music.

"ABSOLUT has had a history of working with great artistic people - like Andy Warhol, Tom Ford, Jean Paul Gaultier, Gianni Versace and Kenny Scharf. I thought it would be interesting to do an artistic collaboration like this and be part of that heritage," says Kravitz.
Kravitz recorded a new song, entitled "Breathe", in New York, which will be featured in the campaign. Although this collaboration marks the first collaboration with an internationally recognized recording artist, the brief given to Kravitz was exactly the same as the one any world-class artist working with the brand would receive: present your personal interpretation of ABSOLUT and its core values. The result is a track that is a transition from Kravitz's traditional rock and roll to a distinctly dance music sound, with minimal lyrics, a memorable melody and pulsating beat.

Kravitz said that he was inspired by the brand's core values of clarity, simplicity and perfection. 'There's nothing more simple, clear or perfect than the essence of true love,' he says. 'Once I'd felt that, the track just came.'

'The ABSOLUT brand is synonymous with a true and genuine passion for creativity. Using communication technology we are now able to share this creativity and distribute our collaborative artistic work with a global audience" says Michael Persson. Kravitz's new track "Breathe," part of the ABSOLUT TRACKS COLLECTION, will not be for sale as part of the ABSOLUT KRAVITZ project. Instead it will be available to download for free, along with is accompanying video, from

As a professional in the alcohol industry, I would just like to add that ABSOLUT vodka is, also, a total poseur created by marketing geniuses. Absolut sucks. In fact, in the New York Times' blind tasting from 2003, (which included Absolut, Stoli, Grey Goose, all those brands) Smirnoff won.

That's right, Smirnoff, distilled in New Jersey, the one we all had way too much of when we were 19.

But this is getting off the point, which is: Screw ABSOLUT and their late-80s marketing campaign -- they're totally done.